only you would photoshop your dick
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Randomize
