Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize