I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
