bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Randomize
