come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Randomize
