What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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