He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
