i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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