I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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