I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
you inspire me to be a worse person
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I am naked and annoyed.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize