oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
