Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
All I want is dick and wine.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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