Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I believe in your delicious
I pour the whiskey from now on
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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