I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
