Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
