drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
