Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
