last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
