She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
