I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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