Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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