why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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