we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
