finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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