apparently the secret to your success is patron
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
