And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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