Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
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