okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
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