Can Purell be used as lube?
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
my nose is crying tears of wow.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
