Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Drunk is not a location!
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
