i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
