is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
