Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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