You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
