its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I AM VODKA MAN
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
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