Your face is a jimmy john
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
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