i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
