I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
