So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize