He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
