u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize