I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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