The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize