Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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