He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
