I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
My vagina is officially offended.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
