What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Randomize
