I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
