the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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