Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I know her cup size but not her name....
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
