i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
i out mim tonsoeep
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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