We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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