YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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