I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
i need some magic done to my vagina
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
