I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
