I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
The air taste purple.
Randomize
