This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
