Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize