i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
