Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
