Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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