I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
