OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
