I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
